Rebellion is a word I don't think of often, probably because I am not raising a teenager anymore. 😊  This week, however, that word has come to mind many times as I prayed about what to write for this blog post. Most of us are familiar with the meaning of the word rebellion, but what about a spirit of rebellion? That is a deeply ingrained attitude of disobedience and resistance against God's authority. 

A couple of my earlier posts dealt with motivation and my need to exercise the body the Lord has given me. I did get to the gym and have been consistent for a couple of months now. There have definitely been days I had to talk myself into going, but nothing that I would label as rebellious—until this week. For some reason, the enemy decided this was the week to test my faithfulness. Tuesday, I made it to the gym without much of a problem, but then I realized my watch was dead. That meant no music! The music and my Fairlife protein shake are my fuel for the gym! I panicked, but the Lord quickly reminded me that prayer could fill my mind as easily as music could. Well, I wasn't totally consoled by that thought, but I got on the dreaded treadmill and started warming up. I prayed for every person and every situation that came to mind and survived. As I went through the machines, it was different, but I thanked the Lord for keeping me company and getting me through it.

Thursday came, and it did not start well. I slept later than usual, managed to distract myself enough to run me late, and then had to fight a huge desire to get on my computer and work on some things for Savor. I had to talk myself into going to the gym, but I made sure my watch was charged, and the thought of getting lost in the music helped motivate me to go. That must be when the enemy decided he was going to have to dig in a little deeper to get to me! I got checked in, stored my things in the locker, and turned on my music as I headed to the dreaded treadmill. Then - nothing. I checked my headphones and my watch. Both were charged and on, and I could see the music was playing, just not through my headphones. Would you believe that my watch was still visible to my phone even though my phone was several miles away at home? If my phone is with me, I know I must disconnect the Bluetooth so the watch can connect to my headphones, but this far away? You have to be kidding!

At that moment, a spirit of rebellion rose up that sounds ridiculous, but I promise you it was very real to me. Here is the conversation that went on in my head (and heart): 

Me: I am just going home. I can't do another workout without music!

Holy Spirit: You are already here and you know you need this.

Me: Fine, but I am not getting on that treadmill. I will just go through a few machines and go home.

Holy Spirit: But I have already told you that you need the treadmill to help strengthen your lungs and improve your stamina.

Me: Fine, but I am not happy about it. Why is this happening? I know I prayed through this last week, but I don't feel like praying today.

Holy Spirit: Fine, just stop complaining and walk. "Do everything without grumbling or arguing." Philippians 2:14.

Me: I'm sorry, Lord. I'm still not happy, but thank You that I am almost finished with this dreaded treadmill.

That must sound utterly absurd to many, but maybe some of you can relate. You see, my thoughts were not leading me to commit some major sin—yet. The enemy is pretty sneaky that way. He begins with something that seems harmless and, if unchecked, moves on to more toxic thoughts that lead us away from obedience into a spirit of rebellion.

 One of my favorite topics covered in Mentorship and the Savor Journal is Thought Life. It is so easy for the enemy to fill us with bitterness, guilt, shame, envy, fear, anxiety, rebellion, and more simply through the thoughts he puts in our minds. We must align our thoughts with God's Truth. "You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you, because he trusts in you." Isaiah 26:3. We won't always have perfect peace, but this scripture tells us how to get it back—by redirecting our minds back to Jesus. As you can see, I still have a spirit of rebellion that wants to rise up now and then, but through reading Scripture, prayer, and growing in my relationship with Christ, I now recognize the enemy's attempts to get in my head (and my heart) much quicker, and I am better able to submit to God's gentle hand of correction with thanksgiving.