Grace in the Mess: Navigating Hard Family Relationships with Christlike Love

How do you handle difficult family relationships at the holidays?

Don’t avoid family because it is hard Don’t romanticize the relationships of the disciples

The group included extreme personalities, such as Simon the Zealot, a revolutionary known for opposing Roman rule, and Matthew, a tax collector working for the Romans. These two would normally have been deeply antagonistic towards each other Jesus uniquely called them not just to be with him, but to be together, transforming their relationship into a united family bound by love - demonstrating that only in him can relationships across deep divides truly exist Remarkably, these disciples were not chosen for their superior backgrounds or credentials, but were a “motley crew” Jesus ate more meals than anything else He did in the NT Wedding at Cana – John 2:1-11 (His first miracle, turning water into wine). Dinner at Levi/Matthew’s house – Mark 2:15-17. Meal at Simon the Pharisee’s house – Luke 7:36-50. Feeding of the 5,000 – All four Gospels. Feeding of the 4,000 – Mark 8:1-9 and Matthew 15:32-39. Dinner at Martha and Mary’s home – Luke 10:38-42. Dinner at Zacchaeus’s house – Luke 19:1-10. The Last Supper (Passover) – All four Gospels. Meal with disciples in Emmaus after resurrection – Luke 24:30. Breakfast with disciples on the beach – John 21:9-14. characterized by human flaws, including self-centeredness, cowardice, and faithlessness LOGOS 14Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. 15Rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep. 16Be of the same mind toward one another; do not be haughty in mind, but associate with the lowly. Do not be wise in your own estimation. 17Never pay back evil for evil to anyone. Respect what is right in the sight of all men. 18If possible, so far as it depends on you, be at peace with all men. Romans 12:14-18 Practical tips to prepare for hard family interactions Prepare your heart Ask the Lord to search and see if there is any grievous way Forgive anyone who has harmed, hurt or offended you Remember forgiveness is not the same as restoring the relationship In some cases, you need to be willing to have hard conversations, in other cases, you can simply ask God to give you the ability to forgive and you don’t have to tell them Ask yourself, where is the offense coming from? Prepare by inviting the Holy Spirit to fill you and walk in step with the Spirit by being slow to speak Seek the interest of others Be willing to make a sacrifice of your comfort to help someone else to experience the sacrificial love of Christ Know your audience Are they Christians? Then treat them like brothers and sisters in Christ Are they not Christians? Don’t hold them to the standards you are held to. Focus on how you can demonstrate the love of Christ to them

Savor Moment

Blue cheese green beans 1 ounce Roquefort, Gorgonzola, or Stilton cheese, crumbled (about 2 1/2 tablespoons), plus more for garnish 2 tablespoons extra-virgin olive oil 1 1/2 cups cubed baguette (about 1/4-inch pieces) 6 center-cut bacon slices, chopped (about 1 cup) 1 large shallot, thinly sliced (about 1/2cup) 2 garlic cloves, finely chopped (about 2teaspoons) 1/4 cup chicken stock 3 tablespoons balsamic vinegar 1 1/2 teaspoons whole-grain mustard 3/4 teaspoon kosher salt 1/4 teaspoon black pepper 3 tablespoons cold unsalted butter, cubed 2 pounds fresh green beans, trimmed Directions Preheat oven to 350°F. Line a large rimmed baking sheet with parchment paper. Stir and mash together cheese and oil in a medium bowl using a spoon until mixture is smooth. Add bread cubes; stir gently until bread absorbs the cheese mixture and crumbles slightly into smaller pieces. Transfer to prepared baking sheet, and arrange in an even layer. Bake, stirring bread twice, until golden brown, about 12 minutes. Remove from oven; set aside until ready to use. Bring a large pot of salted water to a boil over high. Meanwhile, cook bacon in a large, deep skillet over medium, stirring occasionally, until browned and crisp, about 10 minutes. Remove skillet from heat. Transfer bacon to a paper towel–lined plate using a slotted spoon; set aside. Reserve skillet and rendered bacon fat. Add shallot and garlic to skillet with rendered fat; cook over low, stirring often, until softened, about 2 minutes. Stir in stock, vinegar, mustard, salt, and pepper; bring to a simmer over low. Add butter; cook, stirring constantly, until butter melts and sauce thickens, about 2 minutes. Remove skillet from heat. Add green beans to boiling water; cook, stirring occasionally, until crisp-tender, 4 to 6 minutes. Transfer beans to reserved skillet with sauce using a slotted spoon or spider, shaking to drain as much excess water as possible. Toss beans in the sauce until well coated. Transfer beans and sauce to a platter. Sprinkle with reserved bacon and bread crumbles and additional cheese. Originally appeared in Food & Wine magazine, November 2025